Notez On Nursing....

BREATHE: A Short Guide to Self-care for the Caregiver

 

 

Nurses are notorious for giving of ourselves until we can’t give any more. We are still mostly women and we are mostly mothers, which even compounds the ‘caregiving’ overload. We have to find ways to care for ourselves so we can re-energize and have the capacity to do the things we do. Every time I sit on an airplane and listen to the flight attendant instruct me to place the oxygen mask on myself first, before assisting others with their masks, it reminds me that I need to carry that advice into all areas of my life, especially my role as caregiver. When I take care of myself and find ways to renew my energy and unwind, I can return to my caretaking roles with less fatigue and maintain my inner calling to the profession and the way I treat others. It starts with taking care of myself. We need to understand the importance of taking care of ourselves and that looks different for each of us, but using the acronym BREATHE, I’ve come up with some thoughts about getting away and renewing your own air supply:
Be proactive. Plan ahead. If you see that you have a demanding week, plan to take rejuvenation breaks. You know the things that do it for you. For me, some of those things are a running, hiking, a shopping trip, a nice meal, a pedicure, a hot bath by candle light, a romantic evening with my husband, a drive in the country, a massage, a movie at the theater, blasting music on my drive home and singing along. Create a list of your things that bring you pleasure and before you get tired or overwhelmed, look at your list and your calendar and schedule a break to catch your breath.
Recognize your own limits. A co-worker may be able to run before work, work a 10-hour shift and stop for drinks on the way home, but I know that will send me over the edge. I like being home before and after a long work day. Being away from the comfort of my home and the refuge that my own space provides is a sure way to send me looking for my broom - and no one will want to work with me the next day! Know yourself and your limits and don’t compare yourself with others.
Examples. Find examples of other caregivers who know how to care for themselves. More experienced nurses, social workers, doctors, or therapists who seem to maintain balance between work and personal care are great resources for developing your own breathing techniques.
Ask! When you find a good example ask him or her how they care for themselves and what activities seem to replenish them. What do they do at home, outside of work, or even during a brief break during a work day that allows them to catch their breath and recharge? I once asked our social worker at the cancer center what she does to care for herself. She told me she gets up early each morning and with her cup of coffee sits in a big comfy chair with a large picture book of amazing photography and works of art. She explained that the beauty in the book sets her mind in the right place so she can address the pain she sees the rest of the day.
Treat yourself. Find a handful of things that help you feel cared for and then do them, buy them, experience them. A romance novel, a decadent dessert, a stroll by the river, a foot massage, a kite, something that reminds you of childhood or being taken care of and go for it without guilt. Too often we put our own needs on hold because we think we are too busy to take a moment to treat ourselves. Treating ourselves has become a focus of great guilt. Treating ourselves, if done in moderation with the intention of returning us to responsible adulthood, should be absolutely guilt free! Get a second scoop of your favorite ice cream then cherish every bite.
Help! Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I have met nurses who never ask for help and view it as being fragile or inadequate for the role of caregiver. Perhaps we don’t feel we deserve help. We may feel it is unfair to ask for help because our own needs don’t compare to the needs of our dying patients or the suffering we witness every day. We may feel weak asking fellow caregivers to switch hours with us or our parents to watch our kids while we get a night out.  Again, I draw on the analogy of the oxygen mask and the idea that self-care is the only way we have the reserves to meet the endless needs around us. If we all ask for help appropriately and show compassion to each other, there will be no guilt, only healthy team members and teamwork.
Envision the nurse you want to be. Remember why you became a nurse. I chose nursing because I love being allowed into someone’s life at a vulnerable time and having the skills and knowledge to take care of them. After more than 24 years as a nurse and 19 as a mother, I have to remember my calling and continue to envision myself acting in ways that allow me to carry out my mission. I do love taking care of people and it is a privilege I don’t take lightly, but I have found that if I am not taking care of myself, I am not ‘breathing’, and I need to remind myself to ‘breathe’ and remind those around me to find those things that re-energize them and give them the life they need to sustain a life of care-giving.

About the Author: Katherine is an oncology nurse and writer. She has been a nurse since 1987, married the love of her life in 1989 and became a mother in 1992. She writes about balancing life with career, family and adventure and finding joy in the journey. She recently moved from New Mexico to Florida and works for the University of Florida.....Click Title for the Source Link